We are the authority on all things choking…she is too hot to choke

Leave her alone!

I guess I’m the only one who ever posts anything around here?  Geez…let’s get caught up…click on the subheadings to read the respective stories–written by people who weren’t on their death bed for the last 3 days

Manny being a Douche Bag Manny disappears between innings in LA

Dude looks like a lady for good reason, he’s she’s East German

They may have hotter women, but Spain is fucking retarded lost when it comes to Political Correctness

Kobe Bryant does what we all knew he was capable of winning without Shaq…choking.

From the home of the Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks (still a team?), Cubs, and White Sox we get this gem.

Prosecutors claimed Thursday that an argument over alcohol left a 77-year-old man dead Tuesday at the hands of his girlfriend.

Cook County Circuit Judge Israel Desierto set bond for Regina Williams at $500,000, according to Tandra Simonton, Cook County State’s Attorney’s office spokeswoman.

Williams, 55, of the 1000 block of North Waller Avenue, is charged with one count of first-degree murder, according to police News Affairs Officer JoAnn Taylor.

Prosecutors say Willie Anderson and Williams were dating. She was with Anderson in his vehicle in the 2200 block of West Monroe Street when they got into an argument about alcohol. Williams then allegedly stabbed Anderson in the face, neck and chest.

Police received a call about 6 p.m. Tuesday for a stabbing in the 2200 block of West Monroe Street, Taylor said.

After stabbing him, Williams allegedly yelled for someone to come and get Anderson because she had just killed him, according to court records. She then sat in the vehicle and drank a beer.

I’m dying (no pun intended) to know what brand of beer this was…this story is at least $2 million of free marketing. Think about–Acme Beer Light…the beer you would kill for. I mean it HAS TO BE GOOD if you’d kill for it right?

Since I’m pretty sure the brand of beer will eventually show up in the news reports…let’s take a stab (no pun intended) at it right now.

No this isn’t a joke…this actually happened.

Source

Police and firefighters were called to the University of Texas’ Jester Hall to free 26 cheerleaders who had crammed themselves into an elevator.

A group of 14- to 17-year-olds attending Texas Cheer Camp in Austin decided to see how many girls they could squeeze into the elevator around 6 p.m. Tuesday, campus police said.

The elevator successfully descended from the fourth floor to the first, but the doors refused to open.

The panicked girls managed to wiggle a few cell phones free to call for help. But it took about 25 minutes before a repairman was able to fix the door, police said.

“It’s dangerous actually,” said Rhonda Weldon, director of communications for the UT Police Department. “They’re lucky that that’s all that happened.”

One teen fainted and was treated and released from a nearby hospital. Two others were treated at the scene.

“Take the sign seriously,” Ms. Weldon said. “There are signs everywhere: No more than 15 people or 3,000 pounds.”

After reading this story one can’t help but do the math…26 girls…3000 pounds. That means that the girls would have to be an average of over 115 lbs each to tip the scales on this elevator. We’re talking about cheerleaders here right? What are they feeding them in Texas?

Note To The Bigger Blogs: If you’re going to bite from lil ol me at least give credit where credit is due.

“At least I already have green sneakers”

4 things are now certain…

1) Bill is currently reviewing dozens of Brett Favre tapes…as I am typing this…at 2am
2) Chad will never start another game in the NFL
3) Mangina’s job is secure for at least another year
4) The Jets will be over .500

CNNSI

GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) — The Green Bay Packers have reached an agreement to trade quarterback Brett Favre to the New York Jets, the team announced late Wednesday night. Terms of the trade weren’t immediately available.

The Packers had been talking with the Jets and Tampa Bay Buccaneers since deciding earlier this week that the team and the three-time MVP couldn’t co-exist. The Packers decided to move forward with Aaron Rodgers as their starter after Favre announced his retirement in March.

“Brett has had a long and storied career in Green Bay, and the Packers owe him a tremendous debt of gratitude for everything he accomplished on the field and for the impact he made in the state,” Green Bay officials said in a statement.

“It is with some sadness that we make this announcement, but also with the desire for certainty that will allow us to move the team and organization forward in the most positive way possible.”

Jets chairman and CEO Woody Johnson issued a statement early Thursday.

“I am looking forward to seeing Brett Favre in a New York Jets uniform,” Johnson said. “He represents a significant addition to this franchise, and reflects our commitment to putting the best possible product on the field. Mike Tannenbaum and his football administration staff did a great job of navigating this complex process. I am excited about welcoming Brett, Deanna and their family to the Jets organization.”

Man dials 911 over Italian sauce

The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man.

The man, Reginald Peterson, 42, called police emergency hot line number 911 twice after staff at the Subway sandwich shop left out the sauce.

Peterson initially called so that officers could have his sandwiches made correctly, according to a police report. The second call was to complain that police officers weren’t arriving fast enough.

This guy has officially ruined it for all of us.  The precedent has been set, on the national stage.  The standard is that the cops won’t respond to this type of stuff anymore.  So now when a more serious crime against fast food happens (like advertisement for the McRib, but no McRib inside) our calls for help will go unanswered.

Thanks Reginald.